December 2013
Can Leadership Skills Be Taught?
Managing Conflict Between Teams
Holiday Time Off Causing Stress
How to Instill Trust in Your Co-workers
Q. Is it possible to teach leadership skills to employees?
A. Some people are born leaders, but any employee can learn leadership skills. Leadership skills vary widely, so try to fit experiences to the right positions. Lower-level employees don’t need to learn financial spreadsheet analysis, but organizing a work team and then encouraging and leading it might be ideal for them. Leadership skills empower employees to be more effective on the job and in their personal lives. Learning such skills grows a mindset as much as it does the skills. The payoffs are employees who are proactive, forward-thinking, and solution-focused. Develop employees by helping them choose work goals, stay on task, mark their own progress, and pursue their goals to completion. Engage them with feedback, both positive and negative. Help them celebrate accomplishments and share the credit with others who make contributions. Teach employees, even lower-level employees who often aren’t made aware of their specific and important contributions to a large organizational mission, to have a vision of what they can accomplish in their unique roles. You never know when one of them may suddenly need to move the ladder to a higher position. We recommend reading “Millennials into Leadership (2011).”
Q. How can I keep conflict within our team from negatively impacting clients and patients?
A. Two often-forgotten truths about teams are that conflict is normal and that teams must meet. To prevent team conflicts from spilling over to affect clients, patients, or other departments, have a regular meeting to address staff concerns so they are resolved early, while they’re small and manageable. Knowing that they have such a forum to air conflicts and internal issues will reduce the likelihood that frustrated team members will act out. Start with weekly meetings if employees interact with one another daily. Discuss content issues first (information, scheduling, reports, etc.) and process issues second (communication, clarification of roles, frustrations, conflicts). In the second part of your meeting, ask the group to discuss process and issues or concerns among members. Next move to concerns about roles and duties. Also discuss concerns associated with the larger organization or needed resources. As problems resolve, you will see meetings shorten. Start meetings on time, and always give the opportunity for the “process” discussions, even if weeks or months pass without staff raising concerns.
Q. Employees are taking off more time from work as the holidays approach, and the result is stress for other workers. What can supervisors do to help employees manage holiday stress?
A. Your first intervention when helping employees manage holiday stress is asking, “What do you need from me?” Two things will happen as a result. One, employees will tell you how they feel and ask for what they need, and two, when things do get stressful, you and the work organization are less likely to be seen as antagonistic. Consider what work rules can be relaxed. Workplaces need rules, but is there room to flex things a bit? Involve your employees in a discussion about how that might work. They’ll come up with great ideas. The whole idea is to “loosen the ropes.” Can you relax deadlines? If so, it’s another option for relieving stress. Of course, nothing works like money (in the form of a bonus check) for helping relieve holiday stress, but that’s usually off the table for most employers.
Q. What can the supervisor do to help increase trust among a team of coworkers?
A. They say trust is like a lubricant in a relationship. When it exists, communication increases, ideas flow better, and productivity improves. Trust building begins with you, so start connecting with individual employees one at a time. Share small but not overly intimate details about yourself, and you’ll appear more real and approachable. Employees will naturally begin communicating with others in kind, thereby increasing trust between each other. The more you spend time with your employees, the more you’ll see this rub off. Offer a positive and optimistic attitude toward your employees’ ability to succeed. Find ways to make success happen. Admit mistakes, and employees will appreciate you. It’s hard, but it’s powerful. Not admitting mistakes throws your relationship into reverse. The payoff for admitting mistakes is appreciation. Give credit and praise when you see the opportunity, and make it authentic. Employees want to count for something. Play to that need, and you’ll build trust that lasts.
Q. My best employee is also my worst. He is an excellent producer with poor interpersonal skills. He’s smart, but his demeanor makes others feel stupid. Employees don’t like him because of his “I’m better than you” attitude. I’m concerned he’d reject a formal EAP referral.
A. If you decide to refer this employee to the EAP, you need to get your documentation right. Keep track of your employee’s interactions. Record employee complaints, and take notes on when interactions occurred and what complaints were directly shared with you. Meet with the EAP first. The confidential consult will help you decide on an effective approach, which will at first be a corrective interview. You mention the employee’s “demeanor,” or the way he behaves, which gives people an impression of his character and feelings. The impression he gives is unproductive and negative. This is the leverage you need as a basis for the eventual referral. Prior to making an informal but strongly encouraged referral, EAP role play the resistance you may face to increase the likelihood of success. A time may come for a formal referral. If so, don’t hesitate.
November 2013
Correcting Performance Without Dismissal
Helping Employees Avoid Burnout
Generate Enthusiasm for Innovation
Making a Formal Supervisor Referral
Q. I fear taking action to correct performance with some employees because being too determined could lead to dismissal, thereby causing me to incur the anger and disapproval of top management. How does the EAP help these situations?
A. EAPs help supervisors feel more secure in taking action with employees to correct performance, even with the best and brightest, whose knowledge of the organization’s fear of their loss leads them to resist change. Without an EAP, you have only persuasive skills to motivate your employee. Barring success, what’s next are threats of disciplinary action. A cycle of improvement and deterioration that may lead to dismissal then follows. An EAP establishes a new dynamic in performance management. Suddenly, employees consider self-referral, avoiding disciplinary action by going to the EAP (with or without sincere intention of accepting help), or accepting the consequences for ongoing performance issues. Most employees will visit an EAP when formally referred by the supervisor. Regardless of their motivation initially, most also accept help and return with better levels of performance.
Q. Competition makes around-the-clock communication almost essential. I don’t hear many complaints, but are employees at risk for burnout by being so responsive to customers and work demands? How much pressure can I put on them?
A. Burnout and lower productivity may be consequences of overwork, but realize that some employees like checking e-mail in the off-hours, first thing in the morning, and even before retiring in the evening. Others may sleep better knowing what awaits them as they walk through the door the next day. Technology allows employees to intervene earlier with problems and reduce their magnitude. Many companies exist only because of such advances in communication technology. Work-life balance is certainly important, but employees must define and redefine what this ultimately means to them. Good communication with your employees and willingness to negotiate with them can help ensure they are happy. This is the bottom line. Do you have this sort of relationship with them? If so, you increase the likelihood of having excited and engaged employees who go the extra mile, love work, and don’t burn out.
Q. What can a supervisor or manager do to facilitate the establishment of a positive work culture that promotes collaboration, innovation, and risk taking by employees to maximize their productivity?
A. Terry Jones, the founder of Travelocity.com, gave a keynote address at an annual meeting of corporate executives last month. His presentation focused on how to create a work culture that generates enthusiasm for innovation. Summarized below are key points he imparted to his audience. See which ones you can institute as a line manager in your work unit:
1) Don’t be afraid to fail. “If you don’t fail, you’re not having enough at bats.”
2) “Kill the project, not the person” if an idea doesn’t work.
3) Study your failures like football teams review tapes of unsuccessful plays.
4) Don’t dismiss out of hand ideas of line staff and lower-level employees.
This is where many great ideas originate. 5) Surround yourself with diverse talents that can synergize. Source: University of Texas, Press Release http://bitly.com/terry-jones-1017 plays.
Q. Can you suggest specific language to use to make a formal supervisor referral when a potential disciplinary action exists if performance doesn’t improve? I know to use the EAP in supervision, but I think hearing all the “pieces” to include would be helpful.
A. What you say to employees may vary depending on the circumstances of the referral, so consulting with your EAP regarding each referral is a good idea. However, the following is a good general approach: “In light of our discussion regarding your ongoing performance problems, I am formally referring you to the EAP because the problems have not been corrected. Your referral is based only on performance issues. You should know that a disciplinary action may (will) be imposed if improvement is not forthcoming. Here is the name of the EA professional and the EAP phone number. Please accept this referral and make a call to schedule an appointment. (Consider: You are welcome to use my phone. Would you like to do that?) Joe, your contact with the EAP is confidential according to our policy. Participation is not recorded in your personnel file, and I won’t be requesting to know or learning of any personal issues you discuss. I won’t be able to learn of your attendance or cooperation either without a release, so please sign a consent form for that purpose only.”
Q. What sort of attitude should I display when referring an employee to the EAP? Should I be serious and stern or try to sell the employee on going with a smile and excitement? Perhaps my demeanor should be somewhere in between.
A. Remember it is the employee’s responsibility to accept a referral to the EAP, regardless of your approach. Your focus on performance and what happens if it improves or what happens if it does not improve is what will make all the difference in employee motivation. Therefore, do not use the EAP as a punitive device. Doing so can prompt your employee to suddenly reject the entire idea of using the EAP, whereas a more supportive approach would facilitate cooperation. See your employees as individuals and the valuable resources they truly are. Approach them with hope and a sense of opportunity and optimism. If you display this affirming attitude in your dealings with them, you will increase the EAP’s appeal. This “program of attraction” dynamic is an important one in the promotion of any professional counseling, assistance, and self-help program.
October 2013
Make Your Meeting Efficient
Can EAP Help Me Get People Skills?
Providing Negative Feedback in a Positive Way
Managing Conflict and Relationship Issues
Q. I like meetings because they bring people together. I’ve read a lot about making meetings efficient, but we still have problems with getting work done, non-participation, and low productivity. What efficiency tips can you offer that perhaps I have not heard before?
A. Meetings can help people bond, but when that is the sole reason for their purpose, breakdown is ensured. Meetings should include selected individuals who gather as a team, all of whom then participate and work as a group to accomplish something. Can you say your meetings fit this model, or would another way to interact be better? Who is not essential for a meeting? Although some employees will feel slighted when uninvited, educate staff about the need for efficiency. Pay attention to solid reasons some offer along with their insistence on being included. It is a myth that all employees hate meetings. Some employees love meetings as distractions or social opportunities. Pay attention to how employees perform in meetings, and know that the EAP can help individuals who struggle with their inability to share work on a team, those who need to pull rank in the room or interrupt others, or those who have trouble with paying attention, staying on the subject, or respecting others.
Q. I became a manager because of my technical skills. I’d like to be more of an ideal manager with better people skills. Can the EAP help me?
A. Meet with the EAP to explore your desire to improve your interpersonal skills. When you become aware of your emotions, and identify the emotions of others so you can manage yourself more effectively in relationships, you are applying emotional intelligence skills. These skills can be learned and improved on with education, awareness, exercises, and practice. Some of these behaviors can be challenging to learn if they require identifying and removing long-term ways of thinking. Short-term, goal-focused counseling can accelerate your progress. Meet with the EAP for a more in-depth discussion of emotional intelligence and how it applies to leadership performance. Find and read “What Makes a Leader?” by Daniel Goleman, from the January 2004 Harvard Business Review. It’s an excellent starting point for your discussion in your meeting with the EAP. Go to: http://hbr.org/2004/01/what-makes-a-leader.
Q. It is easier for me to give feedback to a good performer than to do so with employees who are poor performers. I know the poor performer needs more feedback from me, but why do I resist? Is this a problem with other supervisors too?
A. Giving feedback to good performers is pleasant and easy. But it’s often difficult to do with employees who are poor performers. The stress of confrontation and fear of what may follow explain the resistance. A checklist or a method for giving negative feedback will help you approach those employees more frequently. You’ll also avoid nasty surprises for the poor-performing employees at their annual review. One approach: 1) Create a list of the performance issues you wish to discuss; 2) Discuss the impact of each, and the employee’s awareness of that impact; 3) Share what will or could ultimately happen if the performance issues are not corrected; 4) Decide on a follow-up date and what should change by then; 5) Avoid diminishing the seriousness of performance problems with statements that relieve tension, such as “This is not a big deal, but you need to start making changes to...”); 6) Always offer help, resources, and the EAP to support the changes you require.
Q. How do I keep conflict and relationship problems in our department from interfering with customers and customer service?
A. Unfortunately, it is difficult to isolate conflict for very long. This is because the nature of “systems” dictates that all things are eventually affected by what happens in any other part of the system. Although you can impose stopgap measures to temporarily prevent the negative influences of employee conflicts on customer service, those measures will eventually erode. It is better to establish procedures for resolving conflicts permanently and quickly. Rule #1 is not accepting perpetual conflict between employees. Unlike a family conflict model that may be perpetual, the nature of employment conflict is governed by the influence and leverage afforded by wages and compensation. These things can be used to motivate employees to resolve their differences. The key is management’s insistence on it. The EAP can discuss approaches to conflict resolution that will succeed if are willing to accept nothing less.
Q. Our workplace has a problem with everyone shifting blame to the other guy when things go wrong. How can we put an end to this dynamic, which does nothing to help us create a cohesive work environment and feel glad to all be on the same team?
A. The blame game is a workplace dynamic in which employees seek to ensure their personal survival by shifting blame for business failures to other parties. When it becomes a pattern of interaction, the blame game is more accurately viewed as a symptom of a toxic or problematic work culture. You can stop it by creating a more positive and shared work culture in which managers are not afraid to use the “buck stops here” model of leadership. Blaming is a short-term solution that usually reinforces whatever dysfunction is provoking it. Blaming by definition means that lessons from mistakes are never learned, a frozen feedback loop exists, and moral problems are maintained, resulting in lower productivity. Unfortunately, knee-jerk reactions to blame others reinforce the cycle.
September 2013
Supervisors Must Set the Example for Effective Communication
Is it Mild Flirtation or Sexual Harassment?
How to Deal With Procrastination
EAP Can Assist with Micromanagement Issues
Q. Employees sometimes come to me with complaints about difficult coworkers, but too often it is late in the game, when the relationships have deteriorated. How can I encourage employees to deal with their issues sooner?
A. Most problem relationships grow difficult because coworkers fail to sit down and hammer out differences early on. Here’s a prevention strategy: 1) Have more frequent contact with your employees in a group setting where you can model appropriate communication, set a tone for cooperation, and allow employees to see you interacting with their peers. Over time, your style will establish a nonverbal, almost unconscious standard of communication that employees will emulate. 2) Have more one-on-one interactions with employees so you learn about emerging conflicts and can offer guidance sooner. 3) Increase employees’ motivation to address their issues sooner. Disavow the “fix-it” role. Instead, explain that when interpersonal conflicts arise, the conflicts will not be dissected in order to establish who’s to blame. Instead, conflicts will be resolved in the most expedient manner, and both parties could find that solution undesirable.
Q. I have an employee who is somewhat flirtatious in the office. There have been no complaints yet, and he’s a great guy. Still, I think he is a little too forward at times. Others disagree. I’ve been quiet so far, but I am worried about it. How should I respond?
A. Sexual harassment is not a problem when behavior in the workplace between the sexes is pleasant and friendly, and contrary to misinformation, even mildly flirtatious interactions are not sexual harassment as long as no reasonable person is offended. Still, you should express your discomfort with the frequency of this behavior or the degree to which it appears. Be specific when you speak with your employee. You’re in charge, so it’s your job to decide when to step in. Most employees will respond cooperatively and favorably to such informal “counseling” sessions. Communication is everything. You can’t go wrong by being proactive, reminding all employees about the sexual harassment policy periodically, and personally mentioning your strong disapproval of sexual harassment. Employees will take their cues from the tone and expectations you set for the workplace.
Q. My employees procrastinate. Can you coach me as a supervisor in helping them get their work done on time? There must be things I can do to help them dispose of this habit. I know badgering, threatening, and cajoling won’t work.
A. Although we all procrastinate and everyone knows what procrastination is, resolving the procrastination problems that your employees face is not a one-solution-fits-all situation. There are many resources to help employees with this problem, but each employee’s procrastination problem is unique. While one employee may be easily distracted, another may need better organizational skills. Some employees may have health or mental health issues such as depression that contribute to low levels of productivity, and others may have a substance abuse issue. Dozens of reasons exist, but procrastination in each case is a symptom. When you have troubled employees, contact the EAP to discuss each one separately. Then, with the help of the EAP, decide on the approach you wish to take.
Q. I have always been praised for my attention to detail, but unfortunately it is really part of my micromanagement problem. I am trying to change, but how?
A. Most people know that micromanagement defines behavior associated with difficulty in delegating work, but this is only part of the story. Micromanagement occurs when supervisors become overly obsessed with the extreme details of the job and thereby overly controlling of the work of subordinates. Coaching by another supervisor who knows how to delegate and how to spot micromanagement behaviors is a crucial step in your plan for change. Contacting the EAP is also strongly recommended so you can address resistance to change that you will experience, insecurity in your role, organizational culture issues that contribute to the pressure you face to control work, concern over the stability of your position, anger at others when they make decisions without your approval, and other factors that may influence the pressure you feel to micromanage.
Q. I know what bullying in the workplace means, but what is “mobbing” in the workplace?
A. Mobbing is a form of bullying. It is used in the literature to describe a group of employees bullying another employee, as opposed to bullying perpetrated by a single employee. Supervisory personnel may be unaware of mobbing because employee behavior is often covert. An aggressive form of mobbing would include a group of employees who target an employee by using rumor, innuendo, intimidation, and isolation in order to force that person to resign. Mobbing can impose significant psychological stress on victims, with consequential problems of low productivity, depression, and emotional stress. If you identify mobbing behavior in the workplace, act to end it immediately, and refer victims to the EAP for support, and incorporate the EAP in any plan that includes corrective action for perpetrators.
August 2013
Dealing with Disrespectfulness
Employees who Do Not Participate in Social Activities
When Employees Fail to Learn From EAP
Employees May Not Ignore Referrals
Q. My employee argues with me in ways that I would not have dreamt of when I was his age 25 years ago. What can I do about a disrespectful employee? Is this part of the “transformational” world we live in, or do I need to be more assertive?
A. Some things should not change. One of them is respect and civility. You must assert your authority with an employee who is disrespectful. Meet with your employee and list incidents that are unacceptable. State that the behaviors will incur consequences if the disrespect continues. Your employee may claim that he is not being disrespectful, but you’ll need to define the standards of behavior and expect change. The good news is that you will probably be successful in correcting this behavior in one interview because most employees heed direct messages of this sort. The EAP can help, but don’t let these behaviors continue too long before making a referral. Other issues may contribute to an inability to control this behavior and the EAP would sort them out.
Q. I have an employee who does not participate in any after-hour activities that the other employees attend. She’s a great performer, but I tend to think more highly of employees who join in the fun. Should I inquire about why she does not join in? Maybe there’s a personal problem.
A. Employees who do not participate in social activities are often judged harshly for what appears to be their avoidant or “antisocial” style by those who feel annoyed or rejected by their absence. More often than not, these employees are not demonstrating struggles with work-life balance or mental health issues associated with social avoidance. Instead, they may have close and valued relationships away from work that more effectively meet their needs. Many dedicated workers won’t see potential gains in undirected social activity. Some prefer closer, more intimate associations and are unmoved by peer pressure to join in other social opportunities. Some employees simply prefer their own company and the solitude of their creative thoughts. Try sharing how much you would personally like this employee to join you and the group. Emphasize the creativity or new ideas that often emerge in a less pressured setting, and share how much others would value his or her company. This direct invitation may break the ice.
Q. Did the EAP fail to work if performance problems remained after the employee went to the program and cooperated with the EAP? What’s next now that problems remain?
A. Not every employee referred to the EAP will resolve personal problems or performance issues. Still, EAPs serve the valuable purpose of giving you another alternative to tolerating or terminating troubled employees. Ideally, employees should return to prior levels of performance or even better, but even if not, the program still worked as a service for the employee and as a management tool for you to intervene. You should make a decision about your next step. The EAP cannot advise you about what this administrative reaction should be, but let the EAP know about the status of your employee regardless of your decision so it can evaluate the employee further. Unless some agreement with your employee exists, nothing precludes making another supervisor referral. Your employee assistance program worked as intended, but employees are in control of whether they use its services and benefit from them.
Q. I know the EAP is confidential, but when I attempted to refer my employee recently he resisted, saying that he didn’t trust the program. I feel stuck with this excuse. How should I respond? Should I permit or recommend another source of assistance?
A. You should recommend only the EAP. An established EAP is the only official source of help for personal problems that your organization permits you to officially recommend. No other source of help will include key activities that make EAPs work successfully. Recommending another source of help would also be a mistake because it would invite problems and issues associated with lack of accountability and problematic communication. Only your EAP operates with the proper understanding of how to help employees, interface with supervisors, control access to information, follow up, intervene with problems during follow-up, direct employees to proper resources, or re-motivate employees, if necessary. EAPs follow confidentiality laws and communication procedures that typically are more stringent than those of community resources.
Q. I referred my employee to the EAP for performance issues, but was asked, “What will the EAP do or say to me?” I know the EAP helps employees, but I couldn’t be specific. I think the employee is worried about sharing too much with the EAP.
A. Most employees do not realize that EAPs do not treat employees psychologically and only interview as much as needed to ascertain the true nature of the personal problem, with the goal of getting the employee to the right source of help. This is a critical distinction that can help employees feel more willing to go for help. Assessment and referral are the operative terms. EAPs who would attempt a long-term treatment relationship, or in-depth clinical examination of an employee’s issues better left to the treatment resource, risk having other employees who are friends of a client become fearful that they too would be probed too personally about their problems. All this is good information for your employee to know. Employees do typically disclose highly personal information in assessments, but EAPs know how to interview properly to gather only the necessary information.
July 2013
Aiding Employees as They Cope with Change in the Workplace
Steps to Take After an EAP Referral
New Supervisor Wants to Create Excitement for the Workplace
What is the Biggest Challenge for a Supervisor
Turning Around a Bad Work Environment
Q. Many changes are affecting our company, and employees complain often. What communication techniques can deflect some of this and encourage employees to take responsibility, cope, adapt, and accept the changes?
A. Some employees will complain about change, while others will not. Forward-looking employees in the latter group may cope and adapt faster. Be empathic, but a reality check is also appropriate. Realize that accepting change usually includes a bit of denial, so some complaining can be expected. Let employees know you understand their fears and anxieties, but also say, “It is important for all of us to make a conscious decision that we will figure out how to face the difficulties ahead caused by change.” Show your strength. Say, “We’ll allow our survival instincts to turn on the creative juices so we spot solutions sooner and more clearly.” Send a message of expectation of self-reliance. This includes seeking EAP support, as needed. Encourage employees to have an attitude that demonstrates a focus on what is within their control and that letting go of what is not within their control is part of adapting to change.
Q. Can you give me a checklist of what I should remember to do after I refer an employee to the EAP?
A. The purpose of following up is to evaluate and monitor the improved performance of your employee whose original conduct led to the formal EAP referral. Consider the following: 1) Schedule regular meetings to review performance after the referral; 2) Consult with the EAP immediately if performance problems return or new ones emerge; 3) Expect satisfactory performance. Reject excuses blamed on slow treatment progress; 4) With formal supervisor referrals, request that the release of confidentiality signed by your employee remain active; and 5) Keep your focus on job performance and agreements to cooperate with the EAP as evidence of treatment success, not the discoveries and positive insights shared by your employee learned in treatment or professional counseling.
Q. I am a new supervisor and see a lot of low energy among employees in my work group. There’s no excitement or enthusiasm for what they do. Something is not right, but no one is talking. How do I find out what’s wrong?
A. Meet with each employee in a private meeting and ask how things are going. It’s the most direct route to discovery. Avoid observing the group, teambuilding, or holding gripe sessions to “get it all out on the table.” Don’t be mysterious about your intentions. Conduct a few each day until you see everyone. Be up front and say you want to greet everyone individually and learn confidentially about important issues. Ask employees to bring proposed solutions, not just issues. You may notice employees perk up immediately. This results from employees telling their stories and feeling hopeful. Be cautious; this won’t last unless you take action. Formulate a plan from what you learn to address issues. Ask management to give input and approval. Don’t forget about the EAP. It can serve as a great sounding board and offer insights because of its unique role as an observer of organizational process.
Q. What is the one area of managing employees where supervisors most often fall short?
A. Surprisingly, supervisors most often fall short in managing themselves. Most supervisors learn on the job and may not learn except over time about the multitude of issues associated with managing employees and their personal growth. The Menninger Foundation (America’s first private practice in psychiatry) spent time examining the supervisor’s role in an institution and published a list of helpful tips. The insightful list addresses self-awareness, managing stress properly, maintaining a healthy perspective on the supervisory role, having a source of mentorship and inputs, understanding how to learn from one’s mistakes and failures, learning how to manage one’s emotions, and taking time to reflect on events and incidents daily to gather lessons learned. You can see the entire list beginning on page 104 in this monograph from the University of Michigan School of Social Work titled “Essential Supervisory Skills for Child Welfare Managers.”
Q. Employees pick on each other in our workplace, which involves very stressful nursing care. Nastiness, irritability, passive-aggressive communication, negativity, intolerance, and gossip characterize the work environment. How can we begin to eliminate it?
A. You are describing a pattern of interpersonal abuse among employees (often nursing personnel), referred to as horizontal violence (also lateral violence). This is a type of violence toward one’s peers. Characteristically, this form of bullying behavior is emotional, verbal, and covert. It is fraught with many secondary risks, including the propensity toward physical violence, damaging effects to morale, increased risk to patient or customer safety, and lower productivity. Reducing horizontal violence, like any unacceptable behavior, requires labeling it as such and having zero tolerance for it. Ongoing education and awareness is important and helpful in reducing it. It can be a challenge for leadership to identify these behaviors because they are frequently covert and almost indescribable. The upside is that both perpetrators and victims recognize horizontal violence when they experience it. The key is being a manager who employees depend on for dealing with it. Your EAP can help you determine what language is helpful and effective in supporting documentation necessary to arrange a supervisor referral.
June 2013
Promoting Wellness in Employees
How to Reduce Fear of Change
Employee Refused EAP Recommendations
How Managers Can Cope with Stress
New Supervisor Wants to Build Trust
Q. What can supervisors do to encourage employees to practice wellness? I know this is not a supervisor’s responsibility; however, supervisors do have clout and influence, and I think we should put it to good use to help people.
A. You can prompt employees to be healthier without crossing boundaries. Start understanding what constitutes healthful behaviors, and then spot opportunities to practice these and encourage others to do so too. Orient your personal leadership style to value wellness. For example, do you encourage taking work breaks? Does staff feel comfortable going for a walk or stretching at break time? Do you orient new employees to your personal philosophy of work-life balance and maintaining a healthy lifestyle? Can you permit flex time so employees can participate in wellness activities? Consider placing wellness topics, even for a few minutes, on the agenda for your meetings. Promote walking meetings, taking the stairs, stand-up desks where feasible, and the recognition of employees who are making efforts to live healthier. Be consistent with any of these things and you will establish a “wellness culture” and see it catch on throughout the company.
Q. Why is change, even when it is a good change, such a difficult thing for employees? What can be done in advance to reduce resistance or conflict when a change is introduced?
A. Organizations have experienced rapid change over recent decades—change prompted by advances in technology, the pressure of economics, international competition, mergers, and more. Helping employees cope has generated significant discussion among workforce management professionals. Change may be good, bad, easy, difficult, desired, or undesired, but it is first and foremost often perceived as a threat. Threat in this sense means it challenges the status quo and the familiar. When planning for change, have a communication strategy so employees can consider how they will adapt, make decisions, consider the mental hurdles of acceptance, consider the reasons for change, and grow to appreciate how the change will ultimately be better for them. Your work unit and organization can thrive with positive change, but without communication and patience, many problems risk sabotaging your organization’s goals.
Q. I referred my employee to the EAP a year ago, but its recommendations were not followed at the time. My employee is in trouble with severe absenteeism issues, and has just returned to the EAP. Should I go forward with the job actions we’ve planned or hold off?
A. Put your organization’s interests first and make a decision based upon the circumstances. You may decide this means waiting to see what outcome is achieved by your employee’s participation in the EAP. Prior refusal to participate in EAP recommendations and later seeking help under duress is quite common, especially with employees wrestling with severe behavioral-health problems. Although frustrating to management, this flight to help is usually viewed by EAPs as a positive sign and an indication that the end of a cycle of denial and failed attempts at self-control of symptoms is at hand. You can reinforce your employee’s motivation to accept help with an agreement to postpone administrative action in exchange for full cooperation with the EAP. Work closely with your management/HR advisor to craft this agreement, but coordinate this with the EAP, because close communication between you, the EAP, and the employee will be needed to ensure success.
Q. I hear a lot about stress management techniques, but frankly, none of them work for me. What can a supervisor in my position do? I feel I am about one inch away from burnout. I could call the EAP, but doesn’t that just mean more stress management techniques?
A. Managing stress is not just about practicing exercises to reduce its effect. Working with the EAP will allow you to develop a plan or approach to address the unique issues you face. You’ll examine specific behaviors that impede your ability to manage stress or that make it worse, and be introduced to other behaviors designed to intervene. Anyone who faces stress copes with it somehow. These coping strategies are not necessarily conscious choices. They may simply be harmful or maladaptive reactions to circumstances. These behaviors may include overwork, denial of the stress, increased multitasking, or avoiding discussing problems, to name a few. With the EAP, you’ll pull back the issues like peeling an onion, and discover new, healthier, and adaptive behaviors that will help you to manage stress effectively.
Q. I am a newly hired supervisor and would like to build trust with my employees quickly. Can you offer any tips?
A. You can’t rush trust, but here are a few tips to prevent setbacks. 1) Do what you say you are going to do. Employees have memories like elephants for promises made by supervisors. 2) Communicate frequently, not just when there is big news, good or bad. Communication is the only way employees will discover what you want them to know about you, so the more frequent, the better. 3) Act appropriately with employees, but avoid being reserved, aloof, remote, or a conformist. Let them see the real you, and use opportunities like birthdays or special occasions to express your sentiments to individuals. 4) When possible, do not harbor negative news and then drop it on employees at “the right time.” Try to first prepare employees for what might be coming. 5) The more employees who see you and talk with you individually and in groups, the more trust will build. Many chief executive officers who understand this principle teach in-house courses or hold seminars on leadership, communication, and networking skills that any employee may attend. They build trust and their reputations flourish as a result.
May 2013
Encouraging an Employee to Use EAP
Don't Try to Diagnose Your Employees
Improving Communication Within Your Company
Positively Influencing Your Employees
Increase Safety Training During Economic Hard Times
Q. I haven’t referred an employee to the EAP before, but tell me, what is the most important thing I can do to convince the employee to go if there are no serious performance issues? There are a few workplace concerns but they have not risen to the level of “serious” yet.
A. The most common reasons employees hesitate to visit an EAP are fear of the unknown, being asked personal questions, and confidentiality concerns. Support the EAP by reassuring employees that no personal information will be forthcoming to you and that it is company policy and practice to have no EAP participation or attendance records reflected in personnel files. Even an outstanding EAP with solid communication strategies and excellent internal relationships will from time to time need to surmount the fear employees have about confidentiality. Supporting confidentiality is, therefore, a vital role for you. Realize that some employees may never go to the EAP, but the majority will choose an EAP referral in lieu of a disciplinary action for a performance issue. Holding such job actions in abeyance as an accommodation to assist the employee in feeling motivated to accept help is a powerful strategy that has worked to return many employees to a higher level of performance.
Q. Our company is in an area of the country were there appears to be quite a few illegal methamphetamine labs. I know some employees are probably using the stuff. What are the signs and symptoms of meth use or withdrawal?
A. Withdrawal from meth can include symptoms of anxiety, irritability, paranoia, hand tremors, talkativeness, nervousness, and violent or erratic behavior. Delusions and hallucinations are also possible. The longer a person has been addicted, the more intolerable their withdrawal symptoms become. As a word of caution, refer employees to the EAP when they have conduct or irresolvable performance issues. Don’t wait to “figure out” what is wrong with them. You will rarely be completely right. There are signs and symptoms common to all substances of abuse. Depending on the workplace or industry, or the flexibility afforded to employees regarding duties, you may not recognize symptoms of methamphetamine use other than absenteeism. This is true with other substances of abuse as well. You may never notice a heroin user’s symptoms, only their sudden and bewildering absenteeism. Methamphetamine use could cause an employee to appear energetic, focused, and productive for a short period. This won’t raise much suspicion. The bottom line is: Don’t diagnose, or even try to. Simply refer the employee to the EAP for performance issues.
Q. I want to improve my communication with employees and act more social with them in the office; however, I am worried that they see me as “all business.” I don’t want to intrude on their social gatherings, but how can I begin to engage more casually with them?
A. Remember that a professional supervisory relationship does not mean an unfriendly supervisory relationship. When employees are relaxed and socializing at work, entering into their conversation is not an intrusion: they are at work! Look for opportunities like this one to join a casual conversation: When you see several employees talking and laughing in a small group, approach the group and in a friendly way, greet the group and ask what everyone is talking about. “Hi, what’s everyone laughing about?” Attempt to participate in the conversation, not take over or dominate it. Notice how your presence affects your employees. Do they greet and welcome you, or does the group start breaking apart? How do you want employees to respond to your presence? This is an important question to consider. Don’t hesitate to use the EAP as a confidential coach to improve your engagement with employees. The EAP will help.
Q. How can supervisors help ensure that employees will demonstrate high levels of productivity on the job and the least amount of counterproductive work behaviors?
A. Managers positively influence employee behaviors in many ways, but the fundamentals are being sure employees know what they are supposed to be doing and how they will be held accountable. Counterproductive workplace behaviors are significant among employees who experience ambiguity about these things. A study by Florida State University’s College of Business found only 20% of employees knew what they were supposed to accomplish each day at work and how they would be held accountable. The other 80% experienced the most behavioral problems, such as conflicts, absenteeism, trust issues, job neglect, personality conflicts, and morale problems. It is not uncommon for EAPs to hear employee complaints about ambiguity associated with duties and accountability. Rare or nonexistent performance reviews will make these problems worse. When difficult employee problems arise, always consider whether ambiguity about duties and accountability are compounding the issues you face.
Q. Many employees are concerned about the economy, but it is not practical to recommend every one of them to the EAP. My concern is risk of accidents or injury from distractions and stress. Are these valid concerns?
A. Some evidence exists that during economic downturns, stress, job reassignments, and layoffs can increase risk of injuries and accidents. Remind employees to keep in mind that safety is always important, probably more so during these periods. Of course, there is a lot more to helping employees think about safety. During stressful periods, don’t counsel employees, but rather be a good listener, show empathy, and be willing to refer them to the EAP. Using patience and recognizing their stress is not a solution, but it will demonstrate welcomed support. Most businesses periodically face morale and internal conflicts that can make it difficult for employees to feel excited, cooperate, or “buy in” to what management wants them to do. During economic downturns, however, these struggles are exacerbated, and safety programs can falter under such circumstances. Accidents and injuries can follow.
April 2013
Reducing Negativity in the Workplace
Causing Change in Employee Behavior Using Positive Methods
Admitting Mistakes
Supporting Employees Facing Furloughs
Q. How can I help employees experience more positive communication and less negativity with one another?
A. When employee interaction is not positive, you’ll discover that workplace communication in general is often the culprit. Communication breakdown, a lack of information sharing, miscommunication, and unresolved tension often feed the negativity. Do the following to improve employee communication: Beyond regular business matters, discuss the status of healthy communication among employees. Actually make workplace communication a meeting agenda item, because it really is a business matter. Ask, “Does anyone here have issues or concerns they would like to share or discuss regarding our communication with one another or within the organization?” “What about issues regarding our individual roles and duties? Is there anything there we need to discuss?” “What about unresolved resource issues, needs, or concerns?” Over time, you will witness less friction and less of a need to process these questions as positivity among employees' returns.
Q. What more can supervisors do to improve the likelihood that an employee will make desired changes in behaviors or improved productivity without threatening the employee?
A. Supervisors usually know what they want changed or corrected, but just as important as what they want is “when” they want it. Make sure your employee knows the specific date that you need to see changes by. Supervisors often omit the “when” from corrective interviews. Think about your own life experience. What leads you to actually take the steps to accomplish a task, especially one you would rather delay? Your energy to get moving, take action, and finish a task is often prompted by a deadline, which creates a sense of urgency. Feeling an urgent need to do something is linked to the deadline rather than to the value of the task itself. Start thinking “EAP referral” when this strategy of identifying “what” and “when” fails to help your employee make the changes you seek.
Q. One of the hardest things for me to do is admit my mistakes. I think perhaps it’s out of fear of being taken advantage of. I know it doesn’t win friends, but, beyond that, what’s the downside to not admitting my mistakes?
A. Contrary to what you might think, employees are attracted not so much to the smart and right supervisor but to the authentic supervisor. You appear safer and more approachable to your employees if you are more real to them. This is what gives charismatic leaders their edge. Their authenticity comes through. When you model being your true self, you prompt others around you to do the same. They may no longer feel the need to stay as inhibited or afraid to show their vulnerable side or real selves. Outside the home, having a work environment that facilitates and encourages authenticity is a valuable thing. It is a luxury to feel unencumbered by the need to be defensive and protect ourselves from the larger world. The more authentic you appear as a leader, the more your employees will want to be part of your inner circle rather than reject it. Admitting mistakes and being human is part of this authentic profile.
Q. What can or should supervisors do to support employees facing furloughs?
A. Be sure to let employees know about the EAP to help them deal with the stress. Employees will look to you for how to model their reaction to the furlough, so be both a good manager and a good leader by setting the expectation of endurance and positivity as much as possible. Don’t be too quick to tell employees to look on the bright side, dismiss their concerns, or recommend they “start a hobby or catch up on medical appointments.” Let employees know the EAP can offer support, such as counseling with one’s spouse or partner to help deal with problems encountered as a result of the furlough. This could include support to manage fear and uncertainty, finding ways to replace income, saving money, budgeting, or identifying resources. Not doing so can lead to turnover, interrupted team effectiveness, and loss of productivity.
Q. I know EAPs can help employees improve job performance and address personal problems, but what are some of the less frequently discussed ways an organization can benefit by referring employees to EAPs?
A. The positive ripple effects of EAPs are numerous. Many EAPs can have life-saving benefits if they intervene with behavioral issues long before such issues become critical, as in the case of workplace violence. EAPs can help supervisors improve supervision practices, prevent dismissals and turnover, and facilitate resolution of employee disputes with the organization before they become difficult litigious problems. EAP consulting may prevent an organization from needing to hire expensive trainers. They may assist in resolving coworker conflicts, which improves productivity. And they can boost the functionality of work teams or get drug-dependent workers to the right treatment the first time. EAP activities may have an impact on reducing accidents, decreasing risk of employment practices liability, helping curtail dozens of counterproductive workplace behaviors, improving communication, and training employees in many types of soft skills. Many of these benefits are difficult to measure, report on, or quantify, but they ongoing.
March 2013
Common Employee Complaints About Their Boss
A Strong, Communitive Boss Makes a Strong Employee
Why Employee's React Negatively to EAP Referrals
Employee is Afraid to Speak in Public - and it is in her Job Description!
Q. I have been a supervisor 20 years and have heard the same complaints from employees about bosses over the years. I think many are excuses for performance issues, but what are the most common complaints? Perhaps it would help supervisors prevent these problems sooner.
A. Complaints about supervisors sometimes fall short of reality, but the more common ones include the following: “My boss has favorite employees, and they get the best assignments or are excused from undesirable assignments.” “My boss doesn’t seem to care about my problems.” “My boss hasn’t evaluated my performance in years and I don’t know where I stand with the company.” “My boss has personality issues and experiences conflict with me and other employees.” “My boss often avoids me, doesn’t say hello, or doesn’t acknowledge me.” “My boss doesn’t trust me with key assignments.” And so on. When you conduct performance reviews, listen carefully. Inquire about how your employees feel about their job and their relationship with you. You’ll quickly spot trouble points if you keep the above complaints in mind. The EAP can help. It may be difficult to admit when some of these issues apply, but changes will produce big payoffs.
Q. I am an energetic person, and I have a positive personality, but I can’t say it rubs off on employees. Other than staying enthusiastic and sincere, how can I inspire employees to maximize their performance?
A. Assume that each of your employees is capable of magnificent achievements. This will positively affect your attitude and interactions with them. Your current style of leadership is setting an example, but good communication is also crucial. Let everyone know what’s going on within the organization and the importance of their role in the big picture. Cite successes, trends, and opportunities. Be realistic, but let employees know what awaits them personally and as a team for achieving goals. Check your behavior. Mistrust, inability to adapt to change, disrespect toward employees, or a perception that you are not performing at your peak can be magnified by employees and provide fodder for chatter. This will undermine your goal of keeping employees engaged. Process your stress with other supervisors and the EAP, and develop ideas for nurturing your staff. This will reduce isolation and keep you energized.
Q. When I recently referred my employee to the EAP, the response was a complaint that I was not “being fair.” It sounded pretty odd, since the EAP is a positive thing. The supervisor referral seemingly was viewed by the employees as some sort of punitive step. What explains this reaction?
A. The reaction you received is caused by a common yet preventable problem of misperception. Just as you would support employees taking advantage of any organizational resource, initiate discussions with them around the importance of the EAP and the special opportunity it affords employees. Not using the influence of your position to reinforce the positive nature of the program will have the opposite effect. A natural tendency exists for employees to view the EAP primarily as a counseling resource, even though EAPs do other things. This perception of the EAP as a place to go with personal problems can fuel stigma and avoidance. Promoting the EAP as a desirable resource that is pro-people and pro-organization requires active encouragement to change this perception. As a supervisor, you are an important part of this marketing strategy. With that kind of support, the EAP will become an attractive program, with correspondingly high utilization.
Q. I have an employee who is shy and has always refused requests to speak in public. I have accommodated the employee’s fear until recently, but it is now time to intervene, because it is part of the job description. Should I make a referral to the EAP now, or wait until the task is refused once more?
A. Meet with your employee and discuss the nature of the position and its responsibilities. Be positive, hopeful, and supportive. Discuss how you have made allowances for their fear of speaking until now, but that going forward it will be an expectation of the position to make work-related presentations. Ask your employee if you can anticipate cooperation. Pay attention to the answer, but also recommend the employee assistance program. Your employee has shared this problem, so this step is appropriate. Do not counsel the employee. Offer training or other resources that the organization can provide or support. Anticipate change and cooperation going forward. If change is not realized, make a formal EAP referral. The EAP will help your employee challenge habits of thinking and believing, and help with learning new behaviors that focus externally on the social environment rather than internally on fear, anxiety, and social performance.
Q. Our company is trying to encourage employees to use less of the Internet for nonbusiness activities. What does the latest research say about these behaviors? Can the EAP help?
A. A recent research report from Kansas State University found that about 60 to 80 percent of computer use at work is not work-related. Young people spend more time on social media sites like Facebook, and older workers spend more time on personal financial matters. Both groups, however, engage in this behavior, sometimes referred to as “cyberloafing.” The research is not good news. Company policies against using the Internet for personal business are difficult to enforce, and they are typically ignored. Even when employees are warned, threats of disciplinary action may go unheeded. This makes enforcement of policies the most viable method of dealing with cyberloafing, but of course this can have other drawbacks. This is what makes the EAP so valuable. Refer employees who struggle with self-discipline in controlling their Internet abuse. Some may have compulsive use problems that the EAP will identify. Others may need other assistance to maintain self-discipline. Source: http://www.k-state.edu/media/newsreleases/jan13/cyberloaf13113.html
February 2013
Why Supervisors Fail to Refer Employees to EAP
Sympathy is Good; Should Not Lead to Leniency
Denial and Substance Abuse
How to Develop a Motivational Strategy
Q. What is a key reason some supervisors don’t refer employees to the EAP, despite being trained to do so? Referring to the EAP is a straightforward process. I can’t believe it’s because supervisors forget, don’t see the need, or don’t believe in the program.
A. One common but seldom-discussed reason supervisors neglect to use the EAP is their emotional reaction to troubled employees and the decisions that follow, which do not include arranging a referral. Consider the emotional reaction a supervisor might have to multiple instances of unauthorized leave, excessive sick leave, long coffee breaks, difficulty in recalling mistakes, blaming the supervisor for the mistakes, complaints from customers, and wild mood swings. Very commonly, the feeling is anger, and with good reason. However, this reaction has an overpowering effect of interfering with the supervisor’s decision to make a formal supervisory referral. The demonstrated anger might be a “successful” way for the supervisor to feel vented and self-satisfied but without a resolution to the problem. Hence, problems return or later crises result in a dismissal of the difficult employee.
Q. I feel sorry for some of my employees. When I confront a performance issue, I probably demonstrate an overly sympathetic attitude of compassion and understanding. Is this undermining my ability to manage them effectively?
A. Helping employees produce satisfactory work, along with having them feel happy about their contributions, requires clear management expectations. It also requires employees’ believing that corrective measures will ensue if performance is unsatisfactory. Most supervisors don’t understand the interplay between these two things. Love of a job is why many people come to work, but the need for job security is why they arrive on time. Without the reality of unacceptability and consequences for failure to meet performance expectations, nearly everyone would test boundaries and allow other personal interests to compete with the demands of the job. By overly sympathizing, you remove this important dynamic, and you send a message of leniency that reduces a healthy sense of urgency needed to perform productively.
Q. Employees with drug or alcohol problems exhibit patterns of trying to hide their affliction and put their best face forward. Doesn’t this prove that substance abusers are not really in denial? We hear addicted people are in denial, but behavior contradicts that notion.
A. Denial is a defense mechanism that does not preclude some awareness of the existence of a problem. In fact, some awareness is necessary in order to use denial as a defense mechanism effectively. Denial defends against the anxiety produced by evidence that a problem exists. That is its purpose. Denial isn’t meant to fool you. It is to fool one’s self. The evidence that this is true is found in the stories of recovering people who no longer abuse substances, and yet they have the ability to recall how they lied to themselves about the true nature of their problem during the time when it was most acute. For someone with no alcohol-related problems, denial has an entirely different meaning. Denial for the addicted person is about a refusal to accept reality because it is too threatening. More accurately, denial is a refusal to consciously acknowledge what a person and others can plainly see is a problem.
Q. How do I find out what motivates my employees? Most of them would say “money,” but that’s off the table. I wonder if my employees even know what inspires them. Are there any motivational strategies commonly overlooked by supervisors?
A. There are hundreds of nonmonetary strategies for motivating employees. However, it is hard to tell which strategy will work for which employee. Simply spending time with your employees is one way to gather an impression of what inspires them, and of course you should also ask them what motivates them. One link to motivation many supervisors overlook is information. A lack of knowledge about a task or job function often results in a lack of motivation to consider attempting it. So don’t overlook the obvious. Some experts argue that you can’t motivate employees and that they can only motivate themselves. This is only partly true. Don’t overlook a balanced approach of positive and negative reinforcement when it comes to motivation strategies. You will more likely match the needs of more employees. Why? You have two types of employees: Employee “A” pays a bill on time to avoid the possibility of a late fee, while employee “B” is desirous of positive feelings associated with keeping the desk clear of unpaid bills. Both drop the payment in the mailbox at the same time!
Q. Periodically, we have employees incur back injuries on the job. Some get pain medications, which I know can be addicting. Although I haven’t noticed any employees affected by drug dependency, what are the symptoms?
A. Addiction to prescription pain killers, particularly the opioids, is a growing problem. One recent study showed that one in 12 injured workers using this class of pain killers became addicted. Addiction to pain medications is also linked to lower productivity, presenteeism (coming to work affected by health issues or severe troubles), and severe absenteeism. Those addicted to prescription pain killers miss 50 percent more work than non-using peers. Employees who become addicted to opioids have more difficulty returning to work as well. When they return, there is an increased risk of accidents, and they may illegally share medications with friends, become addicted to other opiates like heroin, “doctor shop” to find a willing prescriber, steal from the employer, sleep on the job, and suffer domestic problems resulting from addictive behavior in the home. Your EAP is your key resource for intervention when performance and attendance problems emerge with recovering injured workers, no matter what the cause. For more information, go to http://tinyurl.com/opioids-work.
January 2013
Helping Employees Cope With Major Business Changes
Employee is Drinking During Lunch
Soft Skills and How to Develop Them
Trusting Your Employee
Q. Our company lost a major contract with a customer we’ve done business with for decades. Some employees are coping well, but others seem to be horribly depressed. I’m scared by the reaction and some folks taking this too hard. Can the EAP help?
A. Talk to the EAP. During your discussion, the EAP will help you formulate an approach to offer more support and suggest steps you can take that are consistent with your job and that will help your employees. You’re witnessing grief, which can be associated with many things, including financial loss, career disappointments, and broken dreams. Be sure to acknowledge to your employees that you understand how devastating this loss of business is. Ask them individually to speak with you privately if they feel the need. Ask each employee how you can best support him or her at this time. After an event like this, some of your employees may lose confidence in themselves. You need to step in ahead of that reaction to offer realistic assurance. When you meet with disappointed employees, be sure to invite them to contact the EAP.
Q. My employee comes back from lunch every day with alcohol on the breath. Is this person an alcoholic? Our policy states employees cannot be under the influence at work. This person does not appear under the influence in any way.
A. Diagnosis is something you should avoid. Conceivably, you could have non-alcoholics in your organization who drink at lunch every day and chronic alcoholics who never do. Your policy likely has a list of signs and symptoms to determine reasonable suspicion for testing or a fitness-for-duty examination. Is “alcohol on the breath” listed? May it be used as the sole criterion to act? Do you have discretion as to whether to ignore it unless other performance or behavioral indicators exist? Organizations with safety-sensitive positions may have policies that view alcohol on the breath as the only criterion necessary to authorize a test for reasonable suspicion, while some employers draw distinctions between job classifications for this purpose. Talk to your supervisor and talk to the EAP. Be clear, and consider whether you are overlooking other less obvious but important behavioral indicators to justify taking action in response to an employee possibly being under the influence.
Q. What are soft skills and how do I develop the soft skills I am lacking or that need improvement? Do EAPs do soft skills training? I once was criticized for my lack of follow-through and poor communication, but I don’t see these as EAP issues.
A. Soft skills are personal attributes that relate to your ability to interact within a larger environment. Soft skills may include your ability to remain organized, inspire and praise employees, communicate effectively, establish productive work habits, be a team player, resolve conflicts, or be dependable and conscientious. There is no absolute list of soft skills, yet some, such as effective communication, are commonly referenced. Consider past performance reviews, interactions with others, and honest criticisms from those you trust. Consider a workbook on the subject. The most recent offering on this topic (2012) is Soft Skill Training: A Workbook to Develop Skills for Employment by Frederick H. Wentz. If you recognize limitations in soft skills areas that you think may be holding you back, talk to the EAP. Acquiring those skills or deepening them may be enhanced by professional counseling to help you past psychological roadblocks or challenges that impede your progress.
Q. I want to be fair when giving assignments to employees, but I discriminate based on whether I trust them. Maybe it’s believability, authenticity, or realness—I can’t put my finger on it—but this difference among employees affects my judgment. What’s my problem?
A. Trusting your employees is a risk, but good leaders must learn to do it. Each of your employees has unique skills and abilities, but you will not discover what they are until you test them with assignments that can reveal them. Some employees are more adept at unveiling who they are to others. Part of their appeal is an ability to be vulnerable and show authenticity. Others are just as competent, except they do not exhibit these qualities in their personalities. So the issue for you is clarity. Because you are not clear about who these employees are, your impulse is to trust them less. This gives you a clue to your next step, which is to engage more with them so they become less of a mystery to you. More trust will follow.
Q. Employees who are “part of the club” seem much happier. Some employees avoid socializing with their peers. They rely solely on their performance to advance in the organization. I know it’s not fair, but social skills and competence are important. How can I help?
A. The reality is that social competence in the environment is important. When examined closely, employers more often choose to hire employees who have these abilities because they can help create an upbeat work culture and positively influence the bottom line. Although socializing, telling jokes, and bringing in the doughnuts are not essential duties, it is still appropriate to help your employee connect with peers. Some of this depends on your employee’s willingness to be more engaging. During reviews, if appropriate to your organization’s format, inquire as to how the person feels about his or her connection to the larger environment and with peers. Statements indicating a desire to be more a part of the social network will give you a sense of how far you can go in making recommendations. Remember, the EAP is always ready to help.